Pappy's Rules for Drinking Coffee


My Grand Daddy always used to tell me -

“There's two types of people in this world - those who drink coffee and those who are commies”

Then Pappy would take a pinch of coffee grounds and place it in his lip immediately followed by placing a cup of scalding hot water into his mouth. He’d swish it around his mouth, take a drink and look at me square in the eyes and say

“Jr - in this family they ain’t no commies”.

Being 5 years old at the time - I wasn’t schooled in geopolitical events nor had quite the grasp of the evils of Marxist philosophy, I just knew G-Paw was a bad man who didn’t take no shit and he attributed his superpowers to coffee.

In honor of Pappy here are his top rules for drinking coffee:

  1. DRINK IT BLACK - no sugar, no cream, no cinnamon, no flavors, no mocha, no latte, no bullshit.
  2. DRINK A LOT OF IT - he measured intake in pots - not cups.
  3. DON’T TALK TO HIM UNLESS HE’S HAD HIS FIRST CUP - there’s is nothing that important that cannot be said until after the first cup - nothing.
  4. IF YOU KILL IT - YOU FILL IT - I watched my Grand Dad kill a man with his bare hands because he emptied the coffee pot into his cup and didn’t fill it back up. The Sheriff was called and didn’t arrest him because the guy broke the universal golden rule. Do not be that guy who doesn’t make another pot of coffee after you drank the last cup.

This month we are proud to partner with our good friends at the Lofts Coffee Company - so hit up Portsmouth’s only place to get a fresh roasted cup of joe. When you’re there tell em you ain’t no commie and be sure to drink your coffee - BLACK.